In the last blog we saw how habits can make or break your character and thus destiny. For every habitual act, our mind doesnt have to consult the brain and does it automatically thus conserving energy. Its very useful but not easy to build good habits or get rid of the bad ones. Our greatest resolves and self control gets weakened in no time and we slip back to old way of habits. As discussed last time there are 4 stages to habit actions namely cue, craving, response and reward with each leading to the other. If we can alter any of the steps it can help us start or stop what we want. Since it’s that time of the year when many make new year resolutions, maybe these will help as tools to help you implement your resolution by understanding the dynamics of habits better.
Will share 5 tools which can help you Start Good habits , 5 to Stop Bad habits and 5 Supertools that can be used for both. Thus as promised you will have 15 tools which u may use anytime in future for any habit you like and find appropriate. Its better to do the 2 tasks of Habit Scorecard and Identity before you start using any of the tools as they help you identify your bad habits and desired good habits. Knowing Yourself has to be the first step always.
A. Tools to help you start Good Habits
1. Habit Stacking: placing desired after or before current habits
There are certain tasks you do everyday without fail like brushing, bathing, eating meals, etc. Or some tasks are done weekly or monthly too. One can attach a desired habit after that task so that a current habit can become cue for the desired future habit. For example if I want to start running or meditating in the morning, i can try to do it immediately after brushing my teeth in the morning. So as I am ending my brushing , my mind will automatically go towards the next task after a few days.
2. Temptation Bundling : pairing of actions
Here we pair an action you Want to do with action you Need to do. There are certain things you look forward to do . It could be playing your sport or chat sessions with your friends. You can bundle some actions with it for example if I like playing golf thrice a week or watch a certain serial half n hour everyday, i can bundle some good habits I want to start with it like reading everyday could be clubbed with watching the serial.
3. Two minute rule to do small choices
Instead of planning elaborate tasks to do, we should aim to start with 2 minute versions. It could be short prayer or short stint at exercising or reading but its important to show up. Gradually we can increase time but first we need to drive consistency. Instead of planning to read one hour everyday I should plan to read atleast 2 minutes. Gradually our time with books will increase.
4. Reward yourself on being able to follow good habit routine.
We tend to repeat what gets rewarded. So gift yourself weekly or monthly for every habit you have been able to start and maintain. It could be a box of ferraro or spa therapy and congratulate yourself for your resolve. Rewards and recognition play an important role in repeating.
5. Make a Habit Tracker and Dont Miss Twice successively.
Track your progress by recording your progress on paper or mobile. You will see the larger picture when you view your actions monthly or quarterly. Also if you miss any schedule date ensure back to back misses never happen. A miss should remain an exception rather than an easy way out. Fit Bits can also help you track some of your habits.
B. Tools to help you stop Bad Habits
1. Change your enviroment
1. Dont do the same act in same environment if possible as sometimes environment is the cue to act in a specific manner. For example if you want to stop smoking, avoid going to that part of office or club where you take out the cigarette automatically. Instead sit in different part or go to different tea stalls where environment cues can be reduced.
2. Reframe your mindset from have to do to get to do. Highlight and focus on the benefit
When we have to do, the act becomes a pain metaphor which we want to procrastinate or avoid. But when we mentally understand and train our mind to look at its benefits instead we feel lucky we get to do it so that we can enjoy better tomorrow. For example I saw a nice video comparing two poseubkr ways one could live in 70s. Either at clubs and holidays surrounded by friends n family or at hospital with tubes attached and doctors around. Its determined by how you eat and exercise during 45 to 55. Thus I dont look at exercise or fruits so boringly as understand what they do for me and everytime I choose to exercise over sleeping I choose holidays over hospital.
3. Use a commitment device to restrict your future actions. It could be people or technology
From apps which measure screen time and even block it after certain hours to keeping your mobile inside almirah after 8pm or giving it to your parents or partner can help you atleast get rid of it for sometime. slowly you can build upon this success more victories and get in control of your screentime.
4. Make a habit contract. Make the costs of your bad habit public and painful.
One can set punishment rituals and humans by nature tend to avoid pain. Often long term pain caused by bad habits is underestimated so immediate pain can be introduced in terms to if you over drank again, you will not get to use social media or TV for a month. You could also give the power to your friend or partner to enforce the punishment.
5. Own the decisive moment.
Often in the pressure of rising desires and in the weakness of a moment we lose the resolve and control. At that moment one needs to take the decisive step. For example locking the phone inside almirah at 8pm will save you from nearly 3 hours of mindless chatting or social media. When the time to take the step comes, be bold and act quickly without thinking should I do the planned step.
C. Super Tools which can be used for both good and bad habits
1. Spelling out clear intention by mentioning day , time and place
Generic is the enemy of certainty. Make your intention and plan clear by spelling out the action, time and place where you intend to do or avoid it. Instead of I will start exercising one day you should be specific that I will start exercising on terrace every alternate day starting Jan 1 at 6am. Thus you have made it clear.
2. Design your enviroment and make the cues to what you want to start obvious and what you want to stop invisible.
You can be the champion of your enviroment instead of being a victim of it. We can design and place cues for habits we want to start. For example if I want to drink 10 glasses of water everyday I can place a water bottle next to computer, TV and golf bag so that water is within reachable distance. Similarly if I want to reduce sugar intake at night, I can lock the sweet cupboard and send keys to neighbour for a few days every evening. We can make the cues and response invisible or difficult to implement.
3. Join or abstain from cultures that promote that habit.
Family, friends and thr kind of groups you are in real life, social media and follow determined the kind of habits you will inculcate. If you are keen about spirituallty you can follow more groups on social media and join more spiritual organization in real world making you more into it. Similarly if you want to reduce whstapp usage you will exit from groups with mindless chatter all the time
4. Modify steps between you and the habit so that good habits become easier to start and bad habits take longer to do.
While environment design point is more about physical presence, we can also make the process of responding easier or more difficult. Removing the batteries of remote will make us do extra steps to watch the TV and we may abstain sometimes. Similarly if clothes are already set out night before we have higher chance of going for a walk in.the morning.
5. Focus not practicing instead of planning.
A lot of us like to talk and only talk and plan all the time feeling as though alreast something is happening. Talk is cheap. Put it in practice. Even small improvements are great building blocks for higher changes in future. Identify bad habits you want to stop through Habit Scorecard and drop it now. And use the tools learnt to maintain the drop. Similarly use the identity matrix to know what you want to be associated with and start habits. Drop a small bad one and replace it with small good one on Jan 1 noon. And if you are successful do another on Feb 1. In 12 months your improvement will have compilounding effect. You will be surprised to find the super you hidden inside current you. Discover your superman!
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